Are you a chronic people pleaser?
I used to be (and still can be if I am not paying attention)!
If you are not sure:
Do you say yes to everyone else, and no to yourself?
Do you put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own?
Do you do things hoping that other people will notice how good you are and pat you on the head/notice and say something?
Do you find yourself in situations thinking ‘Why did I agree to this?’ while you are smiling and nodding along, saying things like ‘no, don’t you worry…’, ‘It’s fine, honestly, I love this…’ while you are beating yourself up inside and looking for a way to escape?
Do you have an overwhelming urge not to let anyone else down, even if you are putting yourself out? You will reschedule your day just to fit someone else in!
These are just some of the examples I used to find myself in every single day, sometimes multiple times a day!
When I first became self-employed many of my mentors and coaches talked about ‘the perfect day’ or ‘your dream life’, my friend Jules talks about ‘your rich life’ and they would give you the task of defining what that would be for you.
I often found myself resistant to the exercise, and when I finally got around to it, I would feel guilty and ashamed of what I had written. It wasn’t what society expected. I thought I should want to work more.
What happened was I ended up working 7 days a week, from classes at 7am through to classes that finished at 9pm, often for months in a row with no days off, no downtime. I had my regular class schedule, I would cover other people’s classes, for 4 years I was at college and uni, on the go all the time, being busy, serving everyone else. Even for classes that only had 1 or 2 people attending, I didn’t want to cancel, because I would be letting them down – even though it was costing me money to rent the hall, pay for petrol etc.
Then, I got sick.
I had to stop. I had to let go of nearly everything. I had to rebuild in a way that worked for me around my health.
I do wonder, if I had listened to those coaches all those years ago, would that have helped prevent me from getting sick? That’s a question I will never know the answer to.
But, what I do know now is, that I have to come first, my health needs to be my priority.
How I want to structure my weeks, is none of anyone else’s business. My perfect day/dream life/rich life is mine, to meet my values, expectations, and needs.
Yours will be unique to you.
I wish we didn’t need to learn lessons the hard way, but sometimes we do!
That’s why the first task in The Healing Rebel Body and Mind Reset is Values. If you don’t know what they are, how can you live to them? And for those in the membership, they get reminders to review them quarterly.
If you are ready to prioritise yourself, take control of your health and want to join The Healing Rebel membership, you can HERE
If you are not sure and would like a sample of how I work, you can sign up for the free 5-day Body & Mind Reset HERE
